Are you are feeling bored, and got nothing better to do?
well, here's some jokes to crack you up!

On Mas Selamat's to-do list.

-Now that I’m out, I can hantam the smart-asses in my cell group who started referring to me in my absence as “Lim Peh” and added all those ‘Limp Bizkit’ songs to my iPod.

-Get a hot shower after having to escape through that toilet.

-Catch up on all those episodes of ‘Lost’ I’ve stored on my DVR.

-Pitch to MediaCorp my idea for a new reality show: “Who Wants to Marry the Country’s Most Wanted Man”.

-Log on to Facebook and:
Change status update from ‘Selamat is meeting family today’ to ‘Selamat is hiding in a sewer somewhere until the coast is clear’.

-Update my profile picture to reflect my new disguise.

-Poke Osama.


Here's a list of TOP MESSAGES TO PLACE ON THE MOON

-Michael Jackson, please come home

-I can see your house from up here

-Can somebody stop that cow from jumping over me again, please?

-Mansions@TheMoon: an exclusive new luxury condominium estate from Far East Developments, completion date: 2030

-If you can read this, you’re too close

Predictions for the next 20 years,
that Angelina Jolie adopts whole of Bangladesh.

NOTICE:
PLEASE NOTICE!
You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. And we have noticed that some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticeable.
Therefore, this notice is to remind you to notice the notices and to respond to the notices because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.

From the notice committee for noticing notices.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME WASTE YOUR TIME
but hey, at least you spent them laughing! (:

look, i tried IM-ing you,
but no reply.
and with p*, i'm not pretending i'm not there.
its just i can't bring myself to talk to p*.
the same applied to h*. well, i didn't really say anything though,
cause i don't know what to say to h* either.
i just tried not to make things too rude to h*.
cause h* can't take rudeness.

i really want to know when i ignored you,
and when people ask why i'm not with you anymore,
i shrug my shoulders and walked off.
i didn't say anything either.
it was your oh,i'm so sad and oh,i'm so happy post
that really agitated me.

GIRL GUIDES HIKE

yo, went sungei buloh nature reserve for a hike.
i must say, they have very dangerous damaged items there
which may potentially cause harm to humans.
why, i scratched my arm against this pole?
and i went, ouch, and pretended nothing happened.
well, not until lamo suddenly said, OMGOSH.YOU'RE BLEEDING!
look, i didn't sleep well so i was a little reaction delayed.
and Ms Chan gave me a plaster.

and so happens to be a snake right there, by the hand rail.
how close were we? mere 30 cm away from it.
its fear factor dude, fear factor.
got really excited when we saw crocodiles.
well, at least we thought.
Hey! There were signs saying beware of crocodiles, hello?
but they turned out either to be logs or slighty large lizards.

had a hell fun of time by identifying different types of garbage thrown there,
like potato chip packs, styrofoam cups, sweet wraps, why,even a pack of magnolia strawberry milk.
There were some 'hot' army guys there patroling too. searching for mas selamat
Hey! He could jolly well be hiding among the mangroves!
Here's what Sulip dearest said:

SULIP
Posted 03/16/2008 8:54 pm
haha. aww, you kinda make my life so happy y'know SUPER SUPER JUNIOR??
(:be honoured.
haha, yeah i heard that they were in search of your lost but not found fiance(: (mas selamat)
haha, how could you look at the hot army guys? when you already have this super super senior and a fiance??
but can heck that stupid fiance of yours already.(:
im possessive of my SUPER SUPER UBER JUNIOR.
haha.(: hmm. you saw a grey shirt man hiding in the bushes? haiyo. i think you were hallucinating. but again i think i saw it too.(:
haha grieve.
love you PEIHUA DEAREST.
CIAOS;(:

so my fiance's on the run. hmmmm?